CDH Chaplain's Message

Catholic Church, indispensable

Pope Benedict 's visit prompted Michael Gerson of the Washington Post (StarTribune, 4/23/08) to note that the Catholic Church has endured attacks from without and within, and has "remained an indispensable institution for several reasons." First, it defends reason against the "dictatorship of relativism". The Church affirms that human reason can arrive at objective truths and that humanity is not served well by the belief that subjectivity alone, that is, a kind of "whateverism" --that everyone's personal belief is absolutely true.

Second, the Church defends human dignity against secularism. Here, Gerson quotes John Paul II. Noting the dangers of the materialistic view, John Paul wrote: "The criterion of personal dignity is replaced by the criterion of efficiency, functionality and usefulness: others are considered not for what they 'are' but for what they 'have, do and produce'. This is the supremacy of the strong over the weak." Catholicism, writes Gerson, is the main defender of human dignity and has applied this high view of humanity with remarkable consistency --to the unborn and the elderly, the immigrant and the disabled. The author continues: "An institution accused of superstituion is now the world's most steadfast defender of rationality and human rights. It has not always lived up to its own standards, but where would those standards come from without it?" Every institution is flawed, being made up of human beings. But the Cathoolic Church remains a rare vessel entrusted with an exceptional wisdom born from suffering and experience that might just save humanity from itself.

Parents, say NO!

Parents. The word NO can save your daughter, your son. The world teens are living in these days throws sex at them 24-7. They need you to set boundaries. Some young women get into relationships with guys who themselves are not mature enough for the emotional, moral, and social consequences of sex. I wonder what some parents are thinking. Human nature hasn't changed. Why do some parents allow their daughters to dress provocatively, get hooked on text-messaging with some guy they have not approved, get into one-on-one relationships that sweep her off her feet (literally), way before she is developmentally capable of handling it? Why do some parents allow their sons to roam freely on the Internet? A sexual relationship can be challenging enough for adults. Teens do not have the self-discipline and know-how yet to deal with highly charged relationships. They need parental guidance, your courage and your wisdom. Putting your daughter on the pill or equipping your son with "protection" may prevent pregnancy but it won't prevent the damage that premature sex can do toward your teen's capacity for genuinely intimate relationships later in life. Sexually active teens get captivated by the sex, which delays their normal maturation in other areas of their development. It may be easier on parents to pretend or ignore this aspect of their teen's development. But the more difficult approach pays off mightily in the end. Sexual activity for teens is developmentally unsound besides being morally wrong. Tell your teen that sex belongs in the context of a life-long committed relationship. It is not recreation. "But we are in love!" Teens have a very naive understanding of love. Without any real clue about male sexuality, the girl feels that the guy truly loves her. "He said so." Parents know better but may be hesitant to challenge their daughter thinking her private life is her private life. Strange how public the consequences (pregnancy, STDs, delayed emotional, moral and social development) are. Counselors of teens can attempt to heal the broken hearts that "true love" causes. For girls, the hurt tends to go deep. It is a fact that sexually active girls are the most subject to abuse (emotional, physical) by their so-called boyfriends. Parents who delight in their teen daughter's "having a boy who loves her" may be adding to their daughter's future peril. The move from friend to lover is huge, especially for the girl. In a recent study sexually active girls were nearly four times more likely to report feeling depressed "all or most of the time" than girls who were not sexually active. Sexually active boys were twice as likely than non-sexually active boys to report depression. "Sexually active" means the whole range of genital sex, not only intercourse. It is not uncommon for teens to think that oral sex somehow is not sexual activity. A review of the statistics on sexually transmitted diseases, and the realization how damaging premature sex can be says otherwise. Parents: your teen may need some clarity on the definition of what it means to be sexually active. Be specific. Adolescents need a moral guide other than themselves. Their appreciaiton of risk is still developing. Add to this the so-called "raging hormones" and parents have the duty of setting limits. On the positive side, encourage growth in friendship. The guideline to "save sex for marriage" is a sound one and it's clear albeit an invitaiton to healthy development. It is healthier and wiser for teens to wait "until marriage'. to grow up without sex highjacking their development. It may have been easier in grandma's day to raise teens but these days are not yesteryear. For the good of our kids we have to answer the call to guide them through the sex-saturated society which challenges us all.   

Diversity Adversity

Congratulations to staff and students who gave us the Diversity play and the opportunity to share thoughts and feelings. Good work. I came away with a question: is a missing link how we handle adversity? Life is never going to be without challenges to our identities, values, beliefs, and behaviors. I have known plenty in my lifetime so far and can expect more. My faith in Jesus and the support from companions in the Faith have been a source of strength as I have had to face adversity. Many, many times I have prayed for courage, for endurance, for patience, for acceptance, for enlightenment, for wisdom, and found answers to my prayers. My decision to become a priest was strengthened by people who said I would never make it. My decision to get involved in civil rights was sharpened by family and friends who said I was crazy to get involved. My decision to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior met with some sneers and cyncism. The greatest hurts in my life have come from the very people and institutions that I love most. If I didn't love it would not hurt. Dealing with adversity so that blessings come from the exchange is nothing less than the dynamic of positive growth. Working to honor the diversity among us is honorable. Learning to grow from adversity is wise and beneficial. 

Prophetic ministry

It was summer, right after graduation. A group of Cretin classmates and I staged a protest against a porno flick on Rice street. Two weeks later the theatre closed only for us to learn that it was planning to close anyway. It was my first protest. Later came Viet Nam, Selma, and others. After that I moved my "prophetic witness" off the streets, into passionate discussions. The call to be prophetic, that is, to speak one's truth to power is a genuine Christian call. Protests were happening big time in the 1960's and '70's, some authentic, others not. I believe that my  experiences with it taught me some things: my truth may not be the whole truth, it may not even be the real truth but it was the truth I knew then and I had to wrestle with it. I also learned that prophets tend to die young (e.g. King, Romero). That scared me and raised the question: in not choosing the prophetic role, am I failing in courage? Good question. I learned that prophets are usually out on a limb and the branch may break. And I learned that when prophets look behind, their followers may be few. If the cause is right, it should not matter.

My role as chaplain at CDH is pastoral. I am not in the administration nor on the faculty. I am available as priest, confessor, and presider. What I observed on Friday, March 28, was a community in some tension. People can learn a lot in moments of tension. 1) A long standing rule for places of worship is to leave all "weapons" at the door. "On Holy Ground" is not the place, nor is the Sacred celebration of Eucharist the right time for protest. 2) A hospitable community does not invite someone to its home and then offer a confrontation. 3) It is heartwarming to see the younger generation feel deeply about a cause and be willing to stand up for their convictions. We can do this as individuals and have some influence on systems and we can be part of an institution or movement. Catholic social justice teaching has been and continues to be a powerful force for justice in the world. Personally, I thank God for the prophets in our midst, for people choosing to give witness to deeply held beliefs.         

Merely inappropriate?

MERELY INAPROPRIATE? In the olden days, some behaviors were truly inappropriate, e.g. letting out a huge burp in the midst of a public gathering. Other behaviors were clearly thought to be morally wrong, e.g. cheating and stealing. Then the 1960's came along and well-meaning trendsetters incorrectly began to label almost every unseemly act as "inappropriate." Give me a break! To call fraud, rape, physical abuse, damaging property, etc. merely inappropriate is to fancy a false view of reality. Some behaviors ARE morally wrong, whether or not one believes in God. If done knowingly and willingly, God-believers may rightly called it sin. The secular world, however, in attempting to avoid religious terms goes beyond what it has to to be politically correct. From a simply human perspective, some behaviors violate basic human moral standards and need to be called such. Correctly distinguishing the inappropriate from the immoral is critical for the common good of humanity. (JEF)

Contrast popular culture w Christian view

Theology of the Body and Christian marriage Which to choose? Popular culture’s approach OR Catholic Christian approach? (Reference used: Christopher West’s MARRIAGE AND THE EUCHARIST)

Popular culture’s (secular/contemporary) approach: Accountability to humans only, no recognition of the Creator God. Casual attitude toward sex. If it feels good, do it. Goal is physical gratification. Sexual pleasure is major value. Sex is okay if both agree, pre-marital and premature sex sanctioned. Responsible sex means contraceptives, condoms, not abstinence or discipline. Limits range from monogamous marriage to practices such multiple partners. Sexualization of girls and women part of it.

Catholic Christian approach: God is the source of life and human love. Humans are made in God’s image, i.e. God has imprinted the divine image upon our being. Since God is Spirit, God is not sexual but has given living things the power to reproduce, and to humans, the power to pro-create. God is not made in our image. We are made in God’s, male and female God created us. Ultimately, God alone will satisfy our deepest human hunger for love. No human being can bear the weight of our ultimate fulfillment, yet, in God’s wisdom and love, male and female can find deep fulfillment in their communion of body and spirit. Our faith teaches us that God is three persons, that we best understand God as one God with a trinity of persons in loving communion with each other. Relationship is at the center of God’s Being, as it is in ours. Thus, we are made in God’s image. God’s image is most present and visible in the two-in- one-flesh marital union of husband and wife. Male and female complete each other. As scripture reveals, a man leaves mother and father, joins with his wife and the two become one flesh. Our Church has made marriage a sacrament, i.e. we believe that the invisible God is made visible to humanity through the lives and loving union, the marital union, the sexual one-flesh communion of husband and wife. Our faith also teaches that when Catholics marry, they are the ministers of the Sacrament to each other. They vow to love as God loves: 1) God’s love is FREE: “I lay down my life freely” Jesus said, “No one takes it from me.” 2) God’s love is TOTAL: unconditional. 3) God’s love is FAITHFUL. “I am with you to the end of time.” 4) God’s love is LIFE-GIVING. “I came that you may have life and have it more abundantly.”

In the Catholic wedding rite, three questions are posed to the bride and groom.. 1) Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage? 2) Do you promise to be faithful to each other until death? 3) Will you accept children lovingly from God? The vow must be a freely chosen act, and must promise fidelity, permanence, and openness to life. Bride and groom commit to love each other as Jesus loved them. In intercourse, their vows become embodied. Their bodies are holy and possess a language. The sexual union of husband and wife is a most profound act in which God is present, and the couple is in intimate union with each other and the Source of their love.

Contrast between the secular and Catholic approach toward sexuality 1) Catholic understanding has divine revelation as its foundation. Secular understanding has a human foundation. 2) Catholic approach sees sex as a gift that must not be taken casually or experienced merely in its physical form and for pleasure, but rather, when rightly respected and directed to mirror God’s love, sexual intercourse can bring spouses to the deepest level of joy possible. 3) A monogamous, life long commitment in the sacrament of marriage is the best context for human happiness and sexual satisfaction. 4) For Catholics, when husband and wife are living the image of God’s love (Free, total, faithful and open to life) the marital union is Eucharistic. a. Analogies in Revealed word of God showing God’s relationship to us. i. Jesus is the groom, the mystical Body, the Church, is the Bride. ii. Eucharist: THIS IS MY BODY, GIVEN FOR YOU. Spouses are called to imitate Jesus’ love, total gift of self to the other. iii. Other images in Scripture: the story of Hosea and Gomer reveals the fidelity of God in spite of Israel’s unfaithfulness. 5) Non-marital sex misses the mark (which is the definition of sin.) Here, bodies do not image the love God intends for sexual union. Marriage is the only morally right context for sexual union.

Teens having sex is unwise and foolish if not naïve. Risks for teens are huge: a. Teens are not ready to handle the firepower of sex. They suffer from the disadvantage of experience with life and love. It is not their fault, simply a matter of fact. b. Sexual pleasure can be very seductive. Being sexually active sidetracks friendship and one’s capacity for intimacy. Having sex too easily becomes the reason for the relationship. c. Teen sex can have serious consequences, e.g. teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases. d. Buying into the secular approach accepts a casual attitude toward sex, shortchanging future happiness and success in faithful marriage. e. Not waiting, not abstaining until marriage denies the individual from being led into a deep understanding of love, of what soul mate truly is. Advice to teens: If you haven’t already, commit now to save sex for marriage. Study and embrace the Christian understanding of sex and sexuality. Be smart. Recognize and resist popular culture’s approach. Pray daily that you will know God’s will for you. Grow in your capacity for friendship, develop the many dimensions of intimacy. Choose your friends wisely. You will not become your mature adult self until age 25 or so. No matter what difficulties your family has experienced (divorce, separation, etc.) continue to love and support your family members. Learn from your experience and make good choices, starting with the basic foundation. Learn to show affection in appropriate ways. Do not fear your sexual powers, but do give them a morally sound direction.

Q and A on love and sex

Values Class (Q&A) on sex and love

What does the Christian moral code say to teenagers about sex?

Save it for marriage. Three BIG reasons, none of which adolescents are prepared to understand: which is why a smart teenager will trust the tradition and the wisdom of centuries. First: you are in no position to conceive and raise a child. Second: having premature sex of any kind, contrary to what you pick up from today’s media, will sidetrack you in more ways than you know in your moral development. Third: contrary to common opinion, having sex is an individual act that can have enormous consequences for society. (E.g. a new born child, sexually transmitted diseases, AIDS, moms and babies on welfare, school drop-outs, etc.)

            Judeo-Christian wisdom has learned over the centuries that the right context for sexual activity is within the bond of the marriage commitment, that is, in a faithful, monogamous, and life long relationship.

If two teens are in love, shouldn’t sex be okay?

Sure, if your sex partner is the one you are married to! Presumably you are not married yet. Listen up! Love is very complex. Feelings of love do not make sex morally right. The saying that “Love is blind” is especially true with adolescents. That’s why God gave you a brain as well as a heart. Be smart. Give yourself time to understand the meaning of genuine love. You will not reach adult maturity until you are in your middle or late 20”s. In the meantime, grow in your capacity to be a friend. Remember: the leap from friend to lover is huge, and you can never go back. Don’t take sex casually.

So, you think you are in love! Why not have sex to express your love?

Hold on, dear heart. Let me share a friend’s wisdom. One evening after the wedding rehearsal, the groom’s mother said to me “I know my son and his bride are in love, but I really do not think we know what love is until we’ve been married fourteen years.” In other words, you may think you are in love but there is a lot more to it than one can imagine. Adolescent love is natural and good, and a God-given opportunity to learn the basics about human love. Learn how to express your love in non-sexual ways now when you are young. Don’t let sex sidetrack your growth in friendship. Love is complicated enough without letting sex making it more so. Give yourself a break. Pre-marital abstinence, saving sex for your marriage partner, will heighten your understanding of what true love is. Your gift of self to your spouse will then be total.    

Why do people like sex so much?

First of all, not everyone does. Some people have other interests and desires. However, most people do. Why? God has made sex a very pleasurable experience to be sure that the human race would continue. So, with all of living creation, reproduction of the species is essential. But human reproduction is profoundly different from the rest of creation: it is intimately tied to the experience of human love. That is why having sex and making love are really not the same thing. Sex for humans is meant to be more than a biological, genital, or physical function.

         

What is the basis of Catholic teaching about sex?

Basis means basic, foundational. For that we go back to the beginning. God made everything in the world. To living things –plants, animals, humans, -- God gave the power to reproduce, thus all living things are sexual in some way. With humans, there is a unique quality about our sexuality, we not only can reproduce but we can experience the intimacy of God’s love. Made in God’s image we have been given the capacity to love as God loves, that is, freely, capable of being in loving communion with other persons, namely with God and other humans. Created male and female, by ourselves we are incomplete and are marked with a hunger for intimate union. From infancy on we experience different kinds of intimacy: parent-child bonding, friendship, committed love. The Christian ethic about sexual activity reserves sex to the committed and faithful love of husband and wife which gives expression to both powers of sexual union, namely procreation of new life and the intimate communion of two persons. The sexual union between husband and wife is a most sacred union. Our Church respects the “one flesh” union as a sacrament, that is, a visible sign of God’s love here on earth. Husband and wife are called to love as God loves: freely, totally, faithfully, and open to new life. Non-marital sex falls far short of God’s purpose.

What is the Theology of the body?

(Over a period of five years, Pope John Paul II offered a series of reflections on human love and the sacred purpose of our bodies, made in God’s image. This teaching is a profoundly insightful and useful understanding of sexuality and is a contemporary compilation of Catholic theology of the body.)

The human body, enlivened with its soul, is capable of making God’s Spirit visible. This is what it means to be sacrament. A sacrament is a visible sign through which God’s love is made present on this earth. Our bodies are sacred vessels called to carry out God’s plan of desiring to share Divine Love with us. The body reveals the innermost being of our person, our souls. The body has a language through which we share our deepest selves. We speak with our eyes, hands, facial expressions, emotions, silence, movements, and more. We are drawn to and capable of intercourse, a word which refers basically to people speaking with one another. Sexual intercourse is human sharing at its deepest and most personal level. Within marriage, it is the visible sign of God’s love in its most sacred and grace filled purpose. Outside of the marriage bond, sexual union “misses the mark”, which is the Biblical definition of sin. Even in marriage, abstinence is the loving thing to do.

Values class on Marriage and sexuality

VALUES Class on Marriage and sexuality

1. Respect your age. You are teenagers. You are in the phase of life called adolescence and you will be in this phase until you are 25 to 28 years old. You are at the beginning of your second major life task: learning how to relate one-to-one, what scholars call the I-Thou relationship. You are beginning to discover new and more complicated meanings of love. Once your body begins to change with the development of male or female characteristics, you begin to experience new emotions; physical attraction, awareness of personality qualities of others, deeper bonding in friendships, different matter of relating to adults especially your parents. You are adolescents. A wonderful time to be alive, but also one posing new risks, new responsibilities, new challenges, new dangers. You are more and more on your own, trusted to make good choices, entrusted with greater privileges and responsibilities.
2. One of the great awakenings during adolescence is your sexual capacity and the meaning of human love. Not all of you are at the same point in development. This is natural, normal. Accept yourself where you are and grow into the future with confidence.
3. You live in a sex-crazed world. Movies, music, entertainment seem to be obsessed with sexual topics. Advertisements are loaded with sexual innuendo, explicit sex is available on the Internet, cable, and elsewhere. Sexual language, topics, and conversations are reaching children at a younger and younger age.
4. If I were asked to offer some guidelines to teens about sex, here is what I would say:
   1. Make a commitment to yourself that you will save your sexual self for marriage and your married partner. This is a wise choice, one that you will be happy you made when you get older.
   2. Respect yourself and your phase of personal development, namely adolescence. Give yourself time to learn about the complexity of life and of love without having sexual activity sideline your moral and emotional growth.
   3. Learn about and experience friendship. Grow in the many dimensions of intimacy other than physical intimacy. Leap from friend to lover is huge.
   4. Christian moral code, with thousands of years of hard earned wisdom says: sex belongs in marriage, family is the basis of society made so by the faithful, committed and generous love between husband and wife.
   5. Catholic teaching respects marriage as a sacrament. The sexual union of husband and wife, within the commitment of a faithful, permanent, and open-to-life vow, is so sacred that it is one of the seven sacraments.
   6. It is better to let happiness be the result rather than the goal of a marriage. In other words: don’t get married to be happy. Rather, let happiness be the result of a life of faithful love, mutual respect, caring companionship, mutual forgiveness, and communion with God.
   7. Living together is not a good preparation for marriage. Walking on egg shells does not make for a totally honest preparation for marriage vows.

Makes an alum PROUD

THE NATIONAL ANTHEM. Hearing CDH students singing the national anthem at sports events fills me with pride. Nice going, Raiders! Seeing some of our athletes singing along is a great witness to the world. Wouldn't it be a neat goal for CDH to have every student memorize the national anthem?

SPIRIT OF HOSPITALITY. Often I hear visitors remark how welcome they feel in the halls and around school. A wonderful testimony to faculty and staff and to the traditions which sponsor CDH. Seeing and feeling the gospel of Jesus being lived makes an alum proud. Thank you, students, for embracing and carrying the spirit of hospitality, welcomng everyone as Christ would.

Unplug the earphones

UNPLUG the earphones is my prayer today. Listen to the silence and find yourself. Unplug the artificial and find God.  Listen to the beetles, birds, and children laughing in the open air. Watch the bees busy in the courtyard. Refuse to get sucked in by sellers of noise. Integrity of heart demands silence for one's soul, it requires escape from the bombardment of artificial noise. Be wise. Not everyone technologically tuned in to your brain is worthy of your heart. Unplug the artificial noise. Not everyone who knocks, who seeks your attention, should be let in. (JEF)